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So annoyed

6 Dec

My son gets disability payments. Part of the plan is that at least every 3 months I’m supposed to meet with someone from the county disability office about his goals. So far I’ve met his current caseworker exactly NEVER! He’s been the caseworker since my son was a sophomore. Some assistant did the paperwork meeting the last 2 years.

This year, someone from the county came to do a recertification and asked how we got along with the caseworker. She was VERY disturbed when I told her I have never met him.

A little less than a week after she was here, I get a phone call from the caseworker wanting to meet. I cleared and rearranged my schedule for him. The morning of the appointment, he calls to cancel. Some sort of medical thing. It’s a good thing we were to meet at my house because it was about 2 hours before the appointment. I would have already been on my way.

We rescheduled for this afternoon. About 45 minutes before our meeting he calls to cancel again. This time his child is sick. That family seems to be having a tough couple of months medically.

I think I probably wouldn’t be as annoyed as I am if I didn’t know he only trying to not get in trouble with his boss. I realize that things come up. I really understand! But at the moment, its a good thing he didn’t call back like he was supposed to. Just breathe! I’ll be less annoyed tomorrow.

  • I’m grateful this appointment was set at the house. If I had to go out in the cold and then have it cancelled I probably wouldn’t be as understanding as I am. I’m grateful that my house is clean enough for people to come by. I’m grateful I can work on letting it go. I’m nowhere near as angry now as I was earlier.

Night all. LOVES

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Veterans Day

12 Nov

I am so grateful to all the veterans who at one time or another gave everything they had to fight for my freedom. Especially the ability to share my thoughts and feelings when something really annoys me.

Yes, I know yesterday was technically Veterans Day. But some government officials decided ALL holidays should fall on Mondays. I’m waiting for them to get enough umph behind The Fourth of July, Christmas, and Thanksgiving to change THEM too.

Some other enterprising people decided that since nobody is at work on holidays, they should be shopping. So they have HUGE sales on everything. Maybe even their mother & their children?

So now we have holidays that aren’t really holidays and sales that make ME want to stay as far away from stores as possible. I wish my local grocery store was open in the middle of the night so I don’t have to have people everywhere while I’m in the store.

So on this day where we should be honoring those who live and die for our country, people are deciding if the blue or pink sweatshirt would go better with those purple pants.

  • I’m grateful to those in all branches of the military who are always on the front lines at home and abroad to make this country the land of the free and the home of the brave. I’m grateful to live in this country. I’m grateful for firefighters and other first responders who spend long, hard hours protecting our homes and people.

Night all. LOVES

Phone scammers

24 Oct

I’m getting so tired of scammers calling me all the time. The last couple of weeks, I qualified for an all expenses paid trip to a Windom resort if I only paid a shipping and handling fee for the tickets plus all applicable taxes. I’ve found if you press 2 as soon as the computer voice starts talking, they default you to the “we are sorry to bother you and your number will be removed from our list in 3 business days” line. And then they continue to call you repeatedly for the next 3 days.

Today, someone called me from my credit card company saying I was going to get an extra payment next month, they just needed to verify my identity and card information. She knew way more stuff than I was comfortable with her having and I told her I would call her back to verify any more. Then she said that I would have to start all over with a new agent so I might as well stay with her. Funny how my cellphone started having problems and dropped the call. I called the company back and that card is now cancelled.

You know if these people would spend as much time and energy in something legal and worthwhile instead of trying to scam someone, they would be rich.

  • I’m grateful the phone call came this afternoon. If it would have been this morning when I’m just waking up, I probably would have given them everything. I’m not very coherent in the morning lately. I’m grateful the woman at the card company I talked to when I called them was very understanding and helpful. I guess this is a new scam. I’m grateful I listened to that voice inside that told me to hang up. Probably saved me tons of money.

Night all. LOVES

Midnight venting extra

1 Oct

I’m venting tonight. I’m about done with resting and letting people take care of me. I really just want to be able to go to sleep and not be woken up to take my sleeping medication. I want to be able to walk across the room without dragging George the pole with me. I want to be able to sit and not worry about whether the hoses and wires are tying themselves in knots just because I looked at them funny. And I just untangled them 2 minutes ago. I’m tired of the call light, the pen,the cup, the tissue, the whatever falling to the floor every time I move. I’m done with asking permission if I can get up. Go to the bathroom. Walk the halls. I’m really getting dome with being a pin cushion and being poked and prodded every hour or so. What is your pain on a scale of 1-10? Well it was a 3 until you started touching my incisions and bruises, now its about 100! I just want to be in my messy room, in my bed, sleeping or not, when I want.

  • I’m extremely grateful for everything that has gone right over this long weekend. I’m grateful to be healing. And I’m grateful for packaged chicken broth mix at midnight. Somethings are just like home.

Night all. LOVES

Stupid, smartphones

31 Aug

I was in the first computer class offered in my high school way back in the early 80’s.  I took many computer classes in business school and one time classes through community colleges. I used to set the clocks and settings on my mom’s clocks, tv’s, microwaves and other such electric devices. I’m not stupid by any means. So why do smartphones make me so flustered all the time? Its like I forget how to make it work.

I have spent the last 24 hours trying to get pictures from one phone to another phone so that the first phone can be given to my son to use. We need to save the pictures because when we take it to get it turned on, they wipe the phone clean and all data will be lost. Most photos are irreplaceable.

It has been an unhappy task for me. I’m annoyed by my inability to figure out an easier way. And how to tell if I’ve gotten every single picture. My son is annoyed because he can’t use the phone until its done. All because I couldn’t find a spare SD card and I’m too broke to buy one. Yes, I’m whining today.

  • I’m grateful for the phone because all the headaches saves me almost $200 for a new phone. I’m grateful that as I’m verifying the transfer I get to see pictures of my kids and grandkids that I’ve never seen before. I’m grateful for first world problems. There could be so much else to be worried about.

Night all. LOVES

Frustrated

11 Aug

I’ve been so tired lately. I’ll be doing something and just need to lie down and take a nap. I’m  getting 5-8 hours of sleep at night. And the last couple of days, 2 naps a day. Usually at least an hour each. And I’m STILL sleepy all the time.

I seem to be on a down cycle mentally too. Maybe that’s why I’m sleepy? It could be that my diet hasn’t been what it should be? I’ve been slacking because of low funds. Healthier food is more expensive and I need school clothes and a birthday present for my son the end of the month. None of my clothes fit either because I’ve lost so much weight.

  • I’m grateful I have this forum to vent my frustrations and thoughts. I’m grateful to have a roof, food in my belly, and I’m not naked. I’m grateful it’s 30 degrees cooler today than its been all week.

Night all. LOVES

Things change

26 Jul

I was going to write another recipe about what I did with some more of the produce I bought this week, but I just saw something that I feel is more important to talk about.

I’m sure you’ve heard about Demi Lovato’s relapse. It just makes me sad that she had a really bad day. Because that’s what it was. A really bad day. That’s what addiction is. A whole bunch of days strung together. Some good, some great, some bad, and some just heartbreaking. But all it comes down to it is just one day. One of the sayings you hear in meetings all the time is “One day at a time”.

Some people’s reactions to the relapse is one of the reasons I’m not on Facebook as much anymore. The hate and vile these people are saying just makes me mad. Because that could be me! There but for the grace of God goes I.

Why should I spend all this time and effort to make my life better if all anyone is going to think is “Why should I help her, she is just a stupid addict”, “Its her own fault she’s like this, she chose that life”, “I don’t think addicts deserve to live!” I realize that what others think of me is none of my business, but hearing that crap every single day wears on you. You feel defeated. Why do you think its so hard to quit using and drinking? Because its hard to try to change. And having so many negative thoughts and comments directed AT YOU just makes it harder!

No wonder this world is so screwed up. There doesn’t seem to be much compassion for others anymore. No one cares about their fellow man. Its all just an ‘all about me’ world we live in now. Things change. And not always for the better.

  • I’m so grateful for another day. Good or bad, I’m here. I’m grateful to my Higher Power for telling me I’m worth it loud enough to drown out all the negativity most of the time. I’m grateful that I’ve been able to string together a whole bunch of ‘one day at times’.

Night all. LOVES