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22 May

I have developed an attitude of “And?!”. If someone says you need to do this or else, I’ve started saying and?! What comes next? I will have to live with my choices, good and bad. But to have someone threaten me or my loved ones just erks me to no end. I would rather have to deal with the fallout instead of the dread of ‘what if?’

Especially when I’m not doing anything really wrong. I’m doing what’s supposed to be done. Yes, I HAVE done some pretty shady things in my past, but I’m changing things. I’m trying to make amends for all my past misdeeds. I can’t do anything about what has gone before. I can’t go back. So just let it go.

  • I’m grateful to reach a point in my life where I’m mostly ok with my current choices. I’m grateful to know that although I can’t change the past, I can make a better future. I’m grateful to be a different person than I used to be.

Night all. LOVES


Sunday May 19, 2019

19 May

The yard dudes were back today making lots of racket. The were doing edges and shaping bushes. I had to shut the doors and now no fresh rain smells. Maybe I will be able to open the doors in a while?

So I refilled all my Scentsy burners. Just to be annoying, I didn’t put the same smell in any of them. I need to get one more burner for downstairs because it’s too big for the one to keep up. But I need to figure out where to plug it in first though.

  •  I’m grateful to be baking some chicken to add to all the yummy smells in the house. I’m grateful I changes the litterbox yesterday. I’m grateful my stomach is being friendly today.

Night all. LOVES

Watching the weather

18 May

I’m watching the weather again today. And playing video games on my phone. They mowed the lawn today, but didn’t pick up stuff so now there’s little pieces everywhere. I refilled my med minder last night after I got home from the doctor so I’m back on ALL my meds. I’ll hopefully be feeling better in a couple of days. This post is scattered today, kind of like my brain and my life. But I’ll continue on. She hasn’t figured out she can probably jump over the baby gate. So we watch the weather together.20190514_133659_HDR

  • I’m grateful the air smells like fresh mowed grass and rain. I’m grateful I’m alive. I’m grateful I can be ok with occasional scatteredness.

Night all. LOVES

Friday, May 17, 2019

18 May

Its Friday night and the middle of May and I’ve had to put the winter blankets back on my bed. The windows are still open and the heater hasn’t been turned back on so I’m ok with it. I think this is why I love Spring. Its so unpredictable.

  • I’m grateful for extra blankets. I’m grateful for warm pj’s. I’m grateful its Friday.

Night all. LOVES

I’ve hit a wall…

17 May

I went to the sleep clinic today for my yearly check in. I spent more time in the lobby and on the bus than I did with the actual doctor. He adjusted my machine and suggested I start using a saline rinse for my sinuses every night to combat my allergies. Told me to come back in a year or whenever I hit my goal weight.

There’s the rub. I haven’t lost any weight lately. I’m getting skinnier, but I weight the same as I did at my 6 month surgical check up. I know that its unhealthy to focus on the actual numbers, but sometimes I just do. Especially when the numbers aren’t moving. Something to bring up with my therapist tomorrow.

  • I’m grateful to my sister for the new clothes she sent me for my birthday. Its nice to have something that I’m not swimming in. I’m grateful I had a hospital gift card for lunch. Although I wasn’t too thrilled with their special of the day. My turkey meatloaf is much better. I’m grateful to hear birds outside my window. And they annoy the cat.

Night all. LOVES

Tuesday, May 14, 2019

15 May

I spent most of today watching the rain out the window while I did my dishes and my other chores. I also had the door open so I could hear and smell it. Rain is so invigorating to me.

  • I’m grateful my house smells like new rain. I’m grateful my sink is empty. I’m grateful to feel peaceful this evening.

Night all. LOVES

Monday, May 13, 2019

13 May

It’s Monday the 13th. That’s like the total opposite of Friday the 13th. I think Friday the 13th is awesome and a reason to celebrate. Monday the 13th? It’s Monday! Not saved by it being the 13th. And as I sit here writing, my cat has decided that she needs to taste the water my roses are in. Definitely not a good day over here. I’ll try again tomorrow.

  • I’m grateful I woke up today. I’m grateful I have a roof, 4 walls and a door that I can close on the world. I’m grateful for Tylenol. It’s one of THOSE days.

Night all. LOVES