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30 Sep

When ever I feel down, I look for something or someone to inspire me to do something different. Or to be a better person.

Sometimes it’s just a simple thing. Like this week, I saw a rainbow on the front room ceiling. Didn’t know what caused it. Didn’t really want to know. It was enough that it was there. This morning it was the birds and squirrels talking to each other outside my window.

Sometimes it’s a big thing. Like the eclipse this summer. Or the snow of last winter.

I’ve been inspired by watching a small child thinking and figuring out his world. Or some world leader sharing some insightful message.

Today, I slept in so I only heard one session on the LDS General Conference, but the words spoken today have inspired me already. They are encouraging and thoughtful. And yes, I did hear things that were being spoken just to me. I’m looking forward to hear the other sessions later this weekend.

  • I’m grateful to have so many thoughts going through my head today. I’m grateful to find inspiration in so many ways. I’m grateful I have the opportunities I have to learn and grow.

Night all. LOVES



24 Sep

I just finished watching the LDS Women’s Conference on my tablet. And even though I was able to watch the whole thing, I’m going to need to read through the talks again. I can’t remember everything.

Part of it is just being distracted by children needing to eat RIGHT NOW. Or fighting over LEGOs on the front porch. Or just wanting to make the littlest/biggest go away and play somewhere else depending on who was doing the demanding at the moment.

Another distraction is that I’m sitting on my couch in my pj’s while I watch. Eating coconut cream pie and Halloween candy bars. Yes, I KNOW they aren’t good for me. I don’t need anyone to tell me that. I think it’s just difficult to be focused on something important when you are in an ordinary space.

Another part of the distraction is just trying so hard to listen and hear what I needed to hear that I wasn’t able to be still and hear what I needed to hear. Sometimes it’s the quiet whisperers that make the most impact. And the loud noises of the world drown them out.

But I know that by the end of a couple of weeks, all the conference talks will be available to be read, listened to, and rewatched. Highlighting those passages that you need extra questions about or that just strike you in a certain way and you want to remember them.

  • I’m grateful to live in the time I do so that I can have so many opportunities to see, listen, and read what the leaders of the church want us to. I’m grateful to have been given an hour of quiet before the pitter-patter of little feet intruded upon my conscience. I’m grateful that I know I’m not the only woman in the world who deals with these distractions on a daily basis and still learn great things.

Night all. LOVES

Family history

21 Aug

We talked about family history and learning about your ancestors today in church. It’s what the talks were about in Sacrament meeting and the lesson in Sunday school. Someone said it was coincidence, but I know better. There are no coincidences.

We learned about all the different ways that are available to help with your searching, but the best way is to talk to your family. Get the stories and label the pictures before the people who know aren’t here to ask anymore. Take the time to write it down and share with others so that more than one record exists. What if there’s a fire, flood or other disaster? You want the next generation to know who they are and where they come from. Teach them by starting when they are little.

I’ve been slacking in my family history work. I don’t look for things or people. And I don’t tell my children about their roots. I don’t think any of the three could name their grandparents or their great-grandparents. I doubt they would even know how to find out.

My youngest is always asking about when he was little because he doesn’t remember much from before he was put into foster care. He’s blocked it out. I don’t like talking about it because I’m ashamed of what my part in the situation is. I don’t want him to know what a rotten mom I was. I don’t want him to remember the using mom. I just want him to remember how I am now. But I suppose I need to at least write that stuff down so it’s available in the future. I know my ancestors weren’t all angels either.

I have so much more to do. I guess the best way to do it is to just start.

  • I’m grateful to have the tools and knowledge to find my ancestors and to learn about who they really were. I’m grateful that I know now what I didn’t know then. I’m grateful to have the opportunity to change.

Night all. LOVES

When times are tough

5 Aug

The missionaries asked me today what advice I would give someone who is trying to quit smoking. And it reminded me of when I quit. What did I do? And they asked me to write something on several slips of paper to put in an inspiration jar.

The first thing that came to mind is the talk that Henry B. Erying gave called Mountains to Climb where he talks about “If we have faith in Heavenly Father, then he will help us through the hardest of times”. I wanted to get the passages right so I looked it up online. I found another talk by Dieter F. Uchtdorf about almost the same thing. He says, “If you want to get to the top of the mountain, never give up. ”

Another thing that I remember when I’m struggling with a craving or a trigger is if I can get through the first 15 minutes, I can get through the craving. Because the actual physical craving is only 10-15 minutes. When I was first starting this journey, I always called someone because it got my mind off the craving for a little while. And that support person usually had a good idea or two to help me over the hump.

The last thing I thought about is how music helps me when something is bothering me. Music helps me through good things and bad. Sometimes I’ll put whatever is in my mind in either Google or the YouTube search and see what comes up. Today The Beatles “Help” came up. It fits.

It was great for me to think of those things I did when I first started this journey because those things are now in the front of my mind where I can use them. It’s wonderful how my Heavenly Father gave me the task of helping someone else but it actually helped me with what I’m struggling with.

  • I’m so grateful to know that I can help myself by helping others. I’m grateful that the missionaries stopped by. They always help even when they don’t intend to. I’m grateful that my struggles don’t seem so bad as I get ready for bed. I can hopefully sleep better because I’m not stressing about stuff.

Night all. LOVES

Learning Faith

24 Jul

This weekend is the Pioneer Day holiday in Utah and surrounding heavily Mormon populated areas. It was a huge holiday where I grew up, but I’ve heard it’s not as big there anymore.

I’ve learned recently that my ancestors on both my parent’s sides were some of those early pioneers that traveled across the country in wagons. When I think of all the hardships and trials that they experienced, I am amazed that they all continued on their journeys just on faith that it would be OK when they got to the other end of the trail. To stand on one end of the prairie and know that there is something on the other side and to hope that you and your loved ones would all survive the trip would take immense faith.

Learning about these ancestors, I take great courage in knowing that I am descended from these amazingly strong people. And as long as I learn to practice and act on faith, I WILL get to the other end of my destination. I need to just take that next step and keep going. It is inspiring to know that the book I read every day is the same book that they read to keep their faith strong as they headed out on their journey.

  • I’m grateful to have descended from amazing people. They have given me so much more than my hair and eye color. I’m grateful that I can sit here typing on my electronic device, in front of the air conditioner while I write this instead if walking across thousands of miles in the hot summer sun. I’m grateful to go to church today and partake of the Sacrament and renew my commitments and covenants to always try to be like Jesus Christ. I know that he is my Savior and that I’m a member of his restored church in these latter days.

Night all. LOVES

The Day is already over

16 Jul

Summer is an interesting time of the year. Especially weekends when you have no plans. And when you don’t feel good either.

I’ve been reading today. And playing a puzzle game on my phone. And I just looked outside and it’s dark! I didn’t even realize that it was after 9. So another day is over and I’ve not accomplished much of anything. Although all my dishes are done. A friend came over the other day and washed them all. I’ve just had to wash them as we’ve used them. It’s easier because we just keep reusing the same 2 dishes and silverware.

And I did call my home teacher and he came over with the missionaries to give me a blessing. So that two things I did today. I’ll call that a win.

  • I’m grateful to get a Priesthood Blessing today. I still have the headache, but I’m feeling at peace. I’m grateful that honey nut Cheerios are an excellent late night snack as soon as I’m done writing. I’m grateful my child was able to walk to the corner store for milk. All by himself. He’s growing up.

Night all. LOVES


8 Jul

Whenever I have been in a really bad place, whether physically or mentally, the missionaries show up at my door.

If I was doing something that I shouldn’t be doing, I would see them on a corner or at the store. If I was really struggling, they would knock on the door. It always made me feel good to know that they were always around.

But, I didn’t always talk to them. Sometimes I would turn and go the other way. Or not answer the door. I was never mean or rude to them, but not always welcoming and friendly.

Yesterday, I was having a terrible day! I was spinning and just making myself more and more agitated. And then there’s a knock on the door. It’s the missionaries. They just had the urge that they needed to stop by. I couldn’t let them in because I was home alone, but we talked at the doorway for a little bit and we said a prayer, then left. I had such peace afterwards.

All those times I saw the missionaries, it was my Heavenly Father calling out and reminding me that it was time to come home. But I never listened because I didn’t think I was worthy to. I had done so much that there was no way to come back from it. I realized last night that He still loves me and wants me. That’s why He kept sending me reminders.

  • I’m so grateful that I decided to finally listen to him calling. I am extremely grateful that The Atonement means I CAN come home. I’m grateful to missionaries who listen to the promptings they get. He really is in charge.

Night all. LOVES