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I’m in trouble tonight

21 Mar

I went to a church function tonight and left my child home alone. I had planned on having someone come hang out with him, but that fell through. I hoped that he would be OK being home for a couple of hours by himself so that I could hang out with some grown ups.

I had my phone but I had it set on vibrate. Then I stuck it in my jacket pocket on the back of the chair. And forgot about it. So I missed his calls. Yes, CALLS! He called me 15 times in 20 minutes. Because he wanted to go outside and play. Now he’s sitting downstairs having a cow and refusing to come to bed. He says I don’t love him. SIGH!!!

  • I’m grateful to get to spend some quality time with the ladies from my church tonight. I’m grateful for an amazing salad bar for dinner. I’m grateful that nothing major happened while I was gone.

Night all. LOVES


Counting blessings

19 Mar

As I sit here listening to lullabies playing, I’m counting my blessings. My son is almost asleep. He came home from his foster mom’s with a basket of clean clothes, a new hair cut, and a new attitude about him. And he’s tired.

I made it to Sacrament Meeting today even though I had to come home afterwards. I didn’t stay for Sunday School or Relief Society because I felt terrible.

I was able to cobble together something to eat today that hasn’t had too many bad consequences for my stomach. Sometimes oatmeal is amazing.

  • I’m grateful to have my needs met most of the time. Even when I don’t think I do, it’s mostly because I’m being lazy and not doing my part. I’m grateful to all those who bring sunshine to my soul. I’m grateful to know that things will work out the way they are supposed to.

Night all. LOVES

Perseverance when discouraged

24 Jan

This hasn’t been a good winter for me and my family and it’s so easy to get discouraged by all the roadblocks that seem to keep cropping up in our paths. But the one thing I’ve worked so hard on is perseverance. As long as I keep moving, eventually I’ll get where I’m headed.

When I need to go to an appointment, I’ve learned to plan more than one way to get where I’m going. Then if something happens along the way, I’m prepared and able to take a new path to still get where I’m headed. Sometimes it’s not the easiest or quickest way, but it’s still a way.

I’m listening to the Book of Mormon most mornings, and today was Lehi’s vision. It’s one of my favorite stories because it talks about staying on the path to get to your goal. But sometimes, someone feels there is too much in the way to take the straight and narrow path and decides to see if they can find a detour through the field. It never works very well. And if they’re lucky, they end up on the right path looking a little more bedraggled than when they started.

Why do I talk about finding different ways to get where I’m going and a story about staying on the right path? Because I was one of those who thought I could find a better way through the field. I feel like I’m still in the field but I can see the path on the ridge ahead of me. I just need to find the right set of steps that takes me to the top. I just need to keep looking and trying to reach the top. My Heavenly Father has set up lampposts along the way for me to follow. Sometimes when I end up on a path that I think leads me to the top, it actually leads somewhere else. Then I need to stop and go back to where I started and find a new path. But if I persevere, I’ll get there because my Heavenly Father wants me there.

So even when everything seems to be falling apart, there is a right path ahead as long as I keep looking.

  • I’m grateful to have a map, the Book of Mormon, to guide me on my journeys. I’m grateful to have a belief in a Higher Power in Heavenly Father who guides me and cheers for me always. Even when I stumble and fall. I’m grateful that as long as I persevere, I’ll get where I need to be.

Night all. LOVES


16 Jan

How many times do you sneeze at once? Are you a single sneezed or a multiple sneezed? My ex-husband always sneezes in threes in quick succession. My youngest sneezes twice but there’s a lag between. I sneeze a bunch every time I sneeze. It’s never a set amount, but always more than one.

Did you know you can’t do other things while you’re sneezing? Like blowing your nose or coughing. It’s like your body is on a short disconnect while it’s resetting itself.

I woke up sneezing this morning. You can’t even sleep while you’re sneezing. I’m trying really hard not to sneeze because my mouth isn’t quite healed and I’d hate to lose the blood clot that’s covering the socket. That would be bad and super painful. So I’m doing lots of blowing my nose. In between the sneezing.

  • I’m grateful that it’s been a few days before I started sneezing. I’m almost healed. I wouldn’t want to be sneezing over the weekend. I’m grateful to be awake to watch the Mormon message this morning. Maybe that’s why I woke up early. I’m grateful that my child goes to the dentist today. I get to check in about me. Have I said how much I love my dentist!

Night all. LOVES


14 Jan

Still feeling yucky today, but I got up and went to church anyway. Still, I came home early. This thing with my mouth is difficult. I’m not eating much so my sugar numbers are way low. When I got home today, I had an 85. So I made mac and cheese for lunch. I was surprised to see it that low because I had oatmeal with a banana for breakfast. I guess I better keep an eye on it.

  • I’m grateful to get to Sacrament Meeting today. It’s a great way to start the week. I’m grateful to have gotten a blessing to help me with my troubles. I’m grateful to have made it home to eat before my sugar was way too low. I probably should go gave seconds because it’s only 130 now. Then naptime.

Night all. LOVES

Doing my part

8 Jan

I have been seriously slacking in my recovery relationships lately. I remember when I first came into the rooms how welcoming and friendly everyone was to me. Even though I had been in and out of the rooms many times. It didn’t matter what my past was, it only mattered what today is.

Where I have been slacking is that I haven’t been as welcoming to those who went out and are trying to come back. I can admit that I was angry that they decided to go back to using. I was focused on what they used to be instead of what they are.

I feel that today’s lesson in Relief Society was just for me because it hit home so much. They were talking about how to get people more active in church again. About how we need to meet them where they are and be welcoming and loving until they are ready to come back. That even if the tree is cut and the roots seem dead, there is still the possibility of life if you just give it a little water and believe. I can see that I need to do better with watering my relationships to water the roots of the trees. And not just enjoying the benefits of their shade.

  • I’m grateful that I made it to church today. I had some questions answered that I have been working through. I’m grateful to those who were there in my beginning to help me grow strong. I’m grateful to have this opportunity to be welcoming to others.

Night all. LOVES

A part of?

10 Dec

We went to the church Christmas party tonight. There was a yummy dinner, awesome desserts, and singing around the piano.

I was so happy that my son decided to go. I didn’t even mind that we sat at the table furthest from everyone else with our backs to the wall. Because we were there.

He brought his new toy and even engaged with others by showing them what it does. He ate mashed potatoes and gravy. He even ate a piece of pork loin. The only bad part was that I forgot he didn’t like pumpkin pie. But they had apple and he was mostly okay.

You wouldn’t think that a simple piece of pie would shut off his interactions with others but it did. I also think his being in public meter was getting full. At least I hope so. It’s hard to know that sometimes a simple thing can change the world.

  • I’m grateful that we were a part of things, even if it was only for a little while. I’m grateful that he hasn’t said “no” to going again. I’m grateful that it wasn’t as stressful this time.

Night all. LOVES