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Water aerobics, part 2

24 May

Today was my second class and I was much better prepared. I’m still tired after, but I’m not as exhausted. Its more of a ‘happy I did a good job’ tired and less of a ‘what in the heck have I done’ tired.

I talked to the physical therapist before the class and she feels I was a bit too gung-ho last week. She wanted me to take it down a notch this week and see how I do over the weekend. Maybe I won’t be as sore as last week. She also told me not to do my 10 minute walk this afternoon because she feels it would be too much in one day. I’ll do it in the morning before it gets warm.

  • I’m grateful I went today. I thought about ditching this week. I’m grateful to run into people I know on the buses today. Friendly faces are always good. I’m grateful my exercise day is over. It’s nice to sit here reading and relaxing.

Night all. LOVES

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Walking

23 May

After my water aerobics class last Thursday, I realized that I need to be moving more so I don’t hurt myself doing the class. I was so sore this weekend I could barely move. So I have decided to start walking.

Walking is mostly low impact. I have a lovely courtyard I can safely walk around. And with a great playlist on, I can do my 10 minute walk in about 3 songs. I figure I can walk for 3 songs worth every day without any problems. I started yesterday. I’m still not sure if I’m going to walk on Sundays yet so I skipped it this week. I’ll ask the physical therapist about skipping Sundays at my class on Thursday.

The best thing about walking? It wasn’t as bad today as it was yesterday. And I’m pretty sure I’ll be ready for bed before midnight tonight. I’m hoping to get my night owl schedule back on a more normal time frame.

  • I’m grateful for a sidewalk around the perimeter of the courtyard. Makes for a sturdy, level surface to walk on. I’m grateful to make the entire 10 minutes with only one momentary stop to answer a question from a neighbor. I’m grateful that the full version of Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme as well as The Sound of Silence are great songs to walk to. Good beat and melodic enough to be nonstressful.

Night all. LOVES

Almost impossible

22 May

I went to the doctor again today for a check up. Good news- I’m down another 7 pounds this month, for a total of 42 since the first of the year. Bad news- I have a rash on my hand that doesn’t seem to be getting better. I’ve had it on different parts of my hand for over a year! The doctor’s advice? Quit washing my hands so much. I need to quit getting them wet.

I just looked at him like he was crazy! How in the heck am I supposed to NOT wash my hands? Am I supposed to never cook or do the dishes? Clean house? What about showering? Using the toilet? A whole host of other things that are daily occurrences where your hands get wet.

How can someone be allergic to water?¬†And why is it only on one hand and not both? Or anywhere else on my body? I’m very frustrated at the moment. I need to do something to change this! SOON! It’s become unbearably painful and itchy. He says it’s not contagious, that’s why it hasn’t spread elsewhere on my body, but I’m still afraid to touch anyone or shake hands. I’m just at a loss at the moment.

  • I’m grateful to still be losing weight. It’s an amazing feeling to not be afraid of the scale anymore. I’m grateful to get a 10 minute walk around the courtyard with my neighbor. It’s a sense of accomplishment. I’m grateful to still be determined to see this through. One step at a time.

Night all. LOVES

Gratitude and One More Day

21 May

Today at church we talked about remembering what you have and being grateful for it. I like to think of gratitude as “What if tomorrow you only had what you are grateful for today?” I know that I try really hard to remember everything I’m grateful for and not just what I write in this blog. Although I admit some days I usually only remember to be grateful for THIS day, my home, and my family and friends.

We also talked about “What would you do if you knew that you only had one more day on earth?”

I was reminded of when my mother died and I didn’t answer that last phone call. She had already called me several times that day to complain about some such thing that I don’t even really remember except that I didn’t want to hear about it anymore. I always think, if I had answered, I would have at least been able to tell her I loved her one more time.

Ever since then, I ALWAYS tell my kids that I love them. Even if it’s when I call them on the phone in the other room. (They don’t listen to me try to talk to them if their headphones are in.) I also consciously tell everyone I talk to that I’m thinking of them. Sometimes on Facebook, I’ll randomly post something to someone’s page to tell them that they were thought of today.

I think if I knew that I only had one more day, I would try to never sleep because I’m still working on my goals and I’m not where I want to be yet. And I would talk to everyone I care about. And maybe? do my dishes so nobody would see my dirty sink.

  • Today I’m grateful for the many little blessings I am reminded of every day. I’m grateful to have happy memories and hopeful thoughts of being with others. I’m grateful to hear and learn good things today. And that hopefully I get to do it again tomorrow.

Night all. LOVES

Meetings

19 May

I made it to a 12-step meeting tonight. It has been far too long since I’ve been in the rooms. The first thing someone asked me when I started complaining about how miserable I felt was, “When was the last time you made a meeting?” It just reminded me that I really need to keep my recovery first so that everything else has a chance to succeed because if I’m not sober, I can’t be anything else either. So I guess the solution to my misery is to figure out how to fit going to meetings back into my schedule if I want to keep this 8 years & 11 months today.

  • I’m grateful to get on the bus tonight. Even late is okay as long as I get there. I’m grateful to get to leave some of my worries in the middle of the room. I feel so much lighter. I’m grateful to still be accepted into the rooms even if I’ve been away for a while.

Night all. LOVES

Water aerobics

18 May

I started water aerobics physical therapy this afternoon. It was way harder than I thought it would be. I mean how hard is it to hang out in a pool for an hour? I definitely had no idea what to expect.

The water does make it easier to move, but it also provides resistance. That makes even the simplest of exercises way more difficult. All the exercises are ones I already should be doing. I realize now that I haven’t been giving exercise the attention I should be. I spent most of the hour just trying to stand up. My balance sucks. Have you ever tried to stand on one foot in a pool? I can’t even do it on dry land.

The takeaway from today? I need to do my exercises more consistently. I need to keep going every week. And I need to have an after-plan. I’m so exhausted, irritable and grumpy. With myself and everyone else.

  • I’m grateful I made it to my appointment. I’m grateful the mix up at the check-in desk didn’t mean I missed the session. I’m grateful I’ve learned to apologize quickly when I’m grumpy to others. Now to work on not coming out sideways when I’m stressed.

Night all. LOVES

 

Visitors

16 May

I had so many visitors today, for a minute there, I thought I was in Grand Central Station. It’s nice to know there are so many people thinking about me and how I’m doing. Several of them are people I haven’t seen in a while. Others are some that I see more regularly.

  • I’m grateful for all the people I talked to today. It’s good to know I’m thought of. I’m grateful that it doesn’t phase me to have someone show up on my doorstep with a UA cup to fill. I’m grateful to have someone agree to do my yearly maintenance on my fans so they will run smoothly for another season.

Night all. LOVES