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17 Jun

Tomorrow, my Higher Power willing, I will have 10 years clean and sober. As I was doing my scripture study this morning, I was thinking about how I felt today all those years ago. I wasn’t planning on it being my cleandate. I wasn’t thinking I would EVER have a cleandate. I couldn’t stay clean more than a couple of days no matter how hard I tried. I figured I was going to die loaded.

But this morning, I was listening to a talk from General Conference in April 2009 by Jeffrey R. Holland titled, “None were with him”. It’s about how alone Jesus must have felt when he was on the cross. And how His sacrifice made it possible for me to know that NO MATTER WHAT, I will NEVER be alone. And that I CAN change! Even when I feel that there is no hope and all alone and I’m irredeemable, there IS someone who loves me and is always by my side.

I find it appropriate that this talk was given 10 years ago. There’s a reason they say hindsight is 20/20. Looking back and thinking about those days of hopelessness and despair. The realization that I couldn’t change by myself, that I needed help or I would die and never see my children again. Knowing what I know now about how my Heavenly Father ALWAYS loves me and is ALWAYS with me, I KNOW that with HIS help, I NEVER need to use again. Just need to keep breathing.

  • I’m grateful for how lost and alone I felt 10 years ago. I’m grateful for what I’ve learned since. I’m grateful that I have the ability to continue to learn and grow.

Night all. LOVES


Happy Father’s Day

16 Jun

Today is Father’s Day. As if I need a special day to think about my dad. We always haven’t been on the same wavelength, there have been long periods of time where we didn’t even talk, but he’s ALWAYS wanted the best for me. He was my role model for ehat to look for in a man. He was always working hard for what he felt was important. Luckily, my siblings and I were always important to him. I love you!

  • I’m grateful to my dad for teaching me what’s really important in life. I’m grateful for my dad and all the many things he’s done for me. I’m grateful for my dad for always loving me even when I wasn’t always loveable.

Night all. LOVES

Saturday, June 15, 2019

15 Jun

Been a good day. Almost perfect. Slept in. Breakfast. Showered. Shopping. Lunch. Blog reading. Blog writing. Work on dinner. THINK about doing the dishes. Somewhere in amongst it all, some book time, game time, social media time, and maybe a naptime? The weather is almost perfect not too hot, nice breeze. Wishing for a thunderstorm, but… doubtful.

  • I’m grateful to my friend for driving me around today. I’m grateful my son had a great time at his sleepover, even though he came bopping in at 4:30am because he needed some ‘mom-time’. Then went back. Good thing its the same complex. I’m grateful for this day.

Night all. LOVES

Friday, June 14, 2019

15 Jun

Today started out good. The weather wasn’t so hot, I got a little sleep, and my stomach was feeling pretty good. Then I moved. It was all downhill from there. My neck is still killing me and it gave me a headache. Then I started to see flashes of light and auras every time I moved. Figured it was time to call the doctor. I saw a new doctor this afternoon because my regular doctor was out today. He gave me a shot and told me yo follow up with my regular doctor next week for some tests. Then sent me home to bed.

  • I’m grateful the boy is staying at the neighbor’s tonight for a sleepover. I’m grateful I can get caught up on my blog reading tomorrow because my headache should be feeling ok from the shot. I’m grateful to remember my gratitude list tonight.

Night all. LOVES

The A/C saga continues

13 Jun

They came and took my window unit out today. It’s sitting on the floor under the window. It’s not to hot in here but I was up early, early this morning and had everything open to get as much of the morning coolness into the house as I could.

I didn’t argue or fight with the maintenance guy because he’s just doung his job. He can’t decide if it stays or goes. That decision is above his pay grade, so to speak.

I am going to seek a medical accommodation for my freestanding portable unit. It gets to hot upstairs to successfully use my CPAP machine. And my son is very susceptible to heat stress. It makes him super sick. And above all, I’ll remember to breathe. Even if I have to stand in front of the freezer to do it.

  • I’m grateful its about 20 degrees cooler today. I’m grateful for the breeze. I’m grateful I have tons of fans.

Night all. LOVES

My loss is someone else’s gain

12 Jun

The landlord is taking the air conditioning out tomorrow! Its 100 degrees today!!! But its supposed to be down to 90 tomorrow. But they are taking it out because this old building’s wiring wasn’t built with 100 degree weather and air conditioning in mind. The circuits are overwhelmed and they don’t want another fire.

Yes, I did vent and stomp my feet and cry foul for quite a while. I’m still not happy that they are coming with less than 24 hours notice AND during a heatwave. But on the bright side, my grandkids are getting an a/c unit to keep their little bodies cool.

  • I’m grateful to have had the air conditioner as long as I did. I’m grateful I’ve learned to accept life’s challenges as they come. I’m grateful that I’ve also learned to look for the gratitude and positive in every situation.

Night all. LOVES


12 Jun

It finally topped out at 98 degrees today. Tomorrow is supposed to be the hot day! Now they’re talking triple digits because today was only supposed to get to 90.

My son is extremely susceptible to heat and can get heat sick very quickly. I’m thinking we’re NOT going to therapy tomorrow afternoon. It would suck if he were to get sick on the bus. Or worse! His father gets heat induced seizures. It’s hereditary. I think staying home in the air conditioned house is probably the best idea.

  • I’m grateful to have the a/c units upstairs AND down. I’m grateful to find out at my housing meeting that only the window units are being uninstalled in September. I’m grateful that the upstairs unit is a freestanding portable unit which IS allowed.

Night all. LOVES