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Gratitude and One More Day

21 May

Today at church we talked about remembering what you have and being grateful for it. I like to think of gratitude as “What if tomorrow you only had what you are grateful for today?” I know that I try really hard to remember everything I’m grateful for and not just what I write in this blog. Although I admit some days I usually only remember to be grateful for THIS day, my home, and my family and friends.

We also talked about “What would you do if you knew that you only had one more day on earth?”

I was reminded of when my mother died and I didn’t answer that last phone call. She had already called me several times that day to complain about some such thing that I don’t even really remember except that I didn’t want to hear about it anymore. I always think, if I had answered, I would have at least been able to tell her I loved her one more time.

Ever since then, I ALWAYS tell my kids that I love them. Even if it’s when I call them on the phone in the other room. (They don’t listen to me try to talk to them if their headphones are in.) I also consciously tell everyone I talk to that I’m thinking of them. Sometimes on Facebook, I’ll randomly post something to someone’s page to tell them that they were thought of today.

I think if I knew that I only had one more day, I would try to never sleep because I’m still working on my goals and I’m not where I want to be yet. And I would talk to everyone I care about. And maybe? do my dishes so nobody would see my dirty sink.

  • Today I’m grateful for the many little blessings I am reminded of every day. I’m grateful to have happy memories and hopeful thoughts of being with others. I’m grateful to hear and learn good things today. And that hopefully I get to do it again tomorrow.

Night all. LOVES

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Recovery celebrations

20 May

A very good friend celebrated 10 years clean tonight. It was worth it to spend almost 2 hours on public transportation to be there to wish her happy birthday. I saw so many of the people I first got clean with. It felt like a family reunion. We all went out to dinner after. By the end of the evening, my peopling skills were about done and my anxiety was starting to leak out. I’m finally getting into bed at 11pm. But I probably won’t fall asleep for a little while yet. I need to let my anxiety meds start to work.

  • I’m grateful I didn’t talk myself out of going by complaining it was too far away. I’m grateful someone bought me a yummy salad for dinner. I’m grateful to finally be home. I only jumped at shadows once or twice.

Night all. LOVES

Outdoor pasta salad

15 May

I made a pasta salad for our potluck yesterday. I wasn’t planning on going, but I made it anyway. I figured the neighbors would like it and I could stay inside and hide. The heat and I are not friends.

But because it was hot outside, I didn’t want to make a normal macaroni salad because of the mayonnaise in it. So I made a Mexican inspired pasta salad.

In a large bowl, mix cans of black beans, white beans and corn. Mainly because that’s what I had. I’ve also used whatever the scratched and dented can store has on sale. I know I’m not the only one who shops there. I rinsed the beans and corn and drained them, then set aside.

I cut up a medium onion in smallish dice and put that in the bowl. I also added about a cup of celery, sliced thin. Then I poured a jar of your favorite salsa over everything. We usually use the one that’s not from New York City, as the old commercial used to say.

Then I added a half a pound of elbow macaroni, cooked to just before al dente. You want the pasta to be able to soak up the soupy vegetable mixture.

I’ve also chopped up olives and shredded some cheese and added to it in the past. But I didn’t have any yesterday. The entire thing came out of my food storage.

Season to taste with seasoned salt, pepper, garlic powder, sriracha, and a little bit of dehydrated onion. Mix well again. Cover with plastic wrap and store in the refrigerator until you can hand it out the door to the neighbor while you make excuses of why you can’t go outside right now.

Most of my kids like it with tortilla chips. Then they don’t need to find clean silverware to eat it.

  • I’m grateful my neighbor didn’t like my excuses. I sat in the shade with the babies. I’m grateful to not need to cook dinner last night. I’m grateful to ship the leftovers to the kid’s house so I don’t need to try not to eat them.

Night all. LOVES

Mother’s Day

14 May

Today was a great day. We had a community potluck in our complex courtyard. All my kids and grandkids came to play in the sprinkler and eat food. It was good to see them all. Now to sleep really well tonight.

  • I’m grateful my neighbor dragged me kicking and screaming outside today. I’m grateful all my kids gave me hugs and said Happy Mother’s Day. I’m grateful I have an air conditioned house to escape back into.

Night all. LOVES

He wants a dog

10 May

My son has been telling me all day that he wants a dog. And not just any dog. He wants a pit bull. I personally have nothing against the breed, but there are so many who do. Most apartment complexes have bans for them.

I will admit that I am not a dog person. I like cats. But I really would rather not have any pets at the moment. I can barely keep up with our place now. I’m not sure if I can properly care for a pet. I know I can’t afford vets and all the other upkeep a pet will need. I also know that no matter how much my son says he’ll do everything to take care of a pet, he can’t follow through with his chores now. So I will be the one who walks the dog or changes the litter box.

Then tonight he just pops up and says, “Mom, instead of looking for a new apartment, let’s just go buy a house so I can get a pit bull.” When I said we don’t have money to buy a house, he just didn’t understand that buying a house costs lots of money. I suppose I’ll keep trying to teach him about the value of money and not having enough to just go out and get whatever he wants.

  • I’m grateful to be broke most of the time. It makes saying no to a pet so much easier. I’m grateful that all of our needs are met every month. I’m grateful to talk to my teenager about his wants and dreams. Even if I can’t always meet them.

Night all. LOVES

Its Monday

1 May

Its been a miserable weekend and it looks to continue through the middle of the week. I have a birthday coming up and I’ve reached the age where its time for a colonoscopy. I’m having it Wednesday afternoon. So I get to quit eating tomorrow morning. Except I really haven’t been eating much to begin with this weekend. The joys of yucky tummy! Don’t want to eat what won’t stay in. On the bright side, I’m that much closer to being cleaned out before Wednesday. Gotta look for the positives. I think I’m going to see if I can get some cream of wheat to stay in and go back to bed.

  • I’m grateful my youngest made it to the store by himself for ginger ale and Gatorade. I’m grateful I was able to remake my bed. Didn’t change the sheets, just straightened things up. Don’t like wrinkles. Grateful the smell of food cooking isn’t turning my stomach tonight. My child needs to eat.

Night all. LOVES

Tuesday, April 24, 2018

25 Apr

Today is a gratitude day. It’s hot, my allergies are acting up, and I’ve been out and about to the child’s therapy this afternoon. I just wanna lie here in the dark in front of the a/c tonight.

  • I’m grateful that I left my a/c in over the winter because now I can use it without waiting for the maintenance guy to put it in. I’m grateful it was breezy today because it kept it from getting too hot until after we came home. I’m grateful to be sitting here listening to the child laughing at whatever he’s watching. It’s nice to hear him laugh.

Night all. LOVES