12 Jul

~Integrity is doing what’s right even when no one is watching.~

When I was first getting clean, I saw this saying and knew that THAT is what I wanted in my life. And I was going to do everything possible to live up to it. Because I’ll admit I never did before when I was using.

So I’ve consistently made my decisions based on having integrity. If I make a commitment, I’ll do everything I can to keep it. Sometimes even when I should have said no to begin with. But, that’s a different story for another day.

I also expect others to have integrity when dealing with me. And I have to admit that I’m feeling a bit let down in that respect. It hurts when someone says they will do something and don’t. Or they say they would never do something, but you see them later doing it.

There was a time right after I was out of treatment when I saw some of the ladies that were still in, doing some things that they knew they shouldn’t be doing. And then got mad at me when I walked up and asked them how one of the counselors was doing. They were mad at ME because I caught them doing something wrong.

I’m not saying I’m perfect. I’ve done some things that I shouldn’t be doing. And sometimes I even get away with it. But I still feel like I got caught. And I usually snitch myself off anyway because I want to be a better person.

  • I’m grateful today to try to live with integrity in my life. I’m grateful that when I do something I know isn’t right, I try to fix it and make it right. I’m grateful that I’m trying to teach my children the same things.

Night all. LOVES


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