Things we do for family

30 Jun

My youngest son’s father and his family is coming to spend the night tonight. They are leaving early in the morning to drive to Spokane Washington. I’m a little apprehensive about it.

I’m not worried about them spending the night. They’ve done that before. It’s stressful but no more so than if anyone else is staying over.

No the thing I’m worried about is the trip. Because of our past history, his dad and I haven’t always been friendly. There were times that we were downright hostile to each other. I hope we’ve gotten past that and are becoming good coparents. But I still worry. I worry because there have been times in our past when his father has threatened to take my child and never bring him home. I know he isn’t going to kidnap him this time, but because of our history, there IS that doubt.

The other thing about this trip that has me worried is what they are going to be doing. His dad is taking his mother’s ashes home to put her to rest. And to see her mother one more time before she is gone.

I haven’t told my son everything that is going to happen because I think it will be good for him to go. And if he knows, he will throw a fit about going. His grandmother had been gone for a year and he’s just starting to be able to talk about her without crying.

Am I throwing my kid under the bus? Should I tell him everything that might happen while he’s with his dad?

I’m not going because that woman was NOT my most favorite of people. In fact, I’d say we were enemies up until the last month or two of her life.

So I have all this stuff running circles around my head and every time I try to grab it to stop it, it just slides out of the way. But I’ll get through this because I need to be there to support my child and his father as they do this really hard thing. Just like he supported me when I went home to bury my mom a few years before.

  • I’m grateful I remember to breathe whenever life gets difficult. I’m grateful that my child’s father and I aren’t rivals for my son’s affections anymore. I’m grateful that even when my head is telling me one thing, I can still listen to my heart and do the right thing.

Night all. LOVES


2 Responses to “Things we do for family”

  1. wakinguponthewrongsideof50 June 30, 2017 at 6:55 pm #

    If your relationship with his father was better, I’d say warn your son. But given the situation, I’m not sure. Good luck.

    • TracyEllen Carson Webb June 30, 2017 at 9:21 pm #

      I decided to put my faith in my Heavenly Father and hope it will all work out. My son has his phone and he knows he can call me day or night if he needs to.

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