Addictions suck

11 Jun

I read a newspaper story today about a man who did something so shameful, the community wanted to string him up from the nearest tree. But that wasn’t the point if the article. The point was to talk about who the man was before. Before he sunk so low in his addiction that he stole a dying man’s belongings and walked off.

I am an addict! And but for the grace of God, the go I. It started innocently enough. Hanging out with friends and enjoying the weekend. Then liking the feeling that the alcohol brought. So drinking more often, leading to every day. All day!

Then one day, Meth came into the picture. And the real journey began. The using, and trying not to use anymore. But failing. And every time the failure lead to self-loathing, guilt and shame. So it became easier to use because it made the pain go away for a while. Until you woke up several days later, feeling worse than when you started. Continuing the cycle, again and again and again! Never seeing a way out as you dug deeper and deeper into the hole of despair.

But one day, a defining moment. Something happened that smacked you upside your head and gave you that moment of clarity to realize if you continued on this path of destruction, the only place to stop was death.

So became the beginning of a long, unending journey to recovery. Staying sober, growing and changing. Becoming the person you always knew was there but the drugs and alcohol had from yourself and the world. Knowing that one small stumble. That tiny pebble that causes you to step wrong, could cause you to fall down into that canyon you have struggled so hard to climb out of.

I hope that this is that man’s smack upside his head. I hope to see him in the rooms of recovery soon. I, for one, will be there to offer him a handshake and hug of welcome.

  • Today I’m grateful for that smack. It changed so much. I’m grateful to be a butterfly. Someone who went through a difficult change and came out beautiful. I’m grateful to the rooms of recovery for the miracles they bring about every minute of every day. One moment at a time.

Night all. LOVES

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