Just Breathe

28 Apr

This last week, I had some stuff happen the knocked me for a minute. I was given a good chance to practice my breathing. Learning to just let something happen and react to it with a clear frame of mind. Just breathe.

My SSI claim was denied. The letter basically said that while I’m broken, I’m not broken enough and while I’m crazy, I’m not crazy enough. I get to discuss with my lawyer about appealing or not. Reapplying or not. We haven’t decided yet quite what comes next. So just breathe.

I also got the results from my sleep study. I am soon to be the proud owner of a CPAP machine. I’m sleeping, but not resting. I quit breathing several times a night. Like 40-75 times an hour times a night. It’s really scary when the doctor starts explaining what all those numbers on the report means. Really, really scary when he starts showing graphs and charts with all those numbers added. I know I like to use words to describe moments, but they do say a picture is worth a thousand words. Just breathe.

While I received some really terrible news this week, it hasn’t been all that bad overall. I’m still clean and sober! I was able to see my grandkids. I was able to get to a new meeting and maybe found a sponsor. I’ve still gotten to see some beautiful sunrises and sunsets. I got to hang out with my favorite 15 year old. Life is still going on. Just remember to breathe.

  • Today I’m grateful to see so many different types of weather all in one day. Grateful that life keeps going on. Grateful that one of the first things I learned in treatment is to just breathe.

Night all. LOVES



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