Introverted

17 Mar

Sometimes being an introvert sucks. I mean, I’m okay hanging out with my books in my cave all by myself most of the time. I feel it’s preferable than dealing with others. Especially when I actually try to put myself out there.

I am socially inept on the best of days. And downright rude a lot of the others. I know this and I try really hard to not be. So when I try to say hi and I’m ignored, it makes me wonder why I should even try. More than once, I’ve been at a group social event like a dance or a speaker meeting or a party and I’ve felt all alone! In a roomful of people! More than once, I’ve decided to just sit in the corner and read my book because nobody would even notice if I wasn’t there. Why do I have a book at a social event? Because I might need something to do when other ignore me.

I know I sound like I’m whining and feeling sorry for myself. I’m asking for ideas. Being around people makes me anxious. Being around lots of people can make me hyperventilate. But I want to learn to be with people more often. Or at least not be ignored by the people standing right next to me.

  • I’m grateful for the few friends I have. I’m grateful for libraries. I’m grateful to I keep trying.

Night all. LOVES

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