After the ups, come the downs

5 Mar

I was so excited and happy this week. I was bubbly and talking to strangers. Felt good about myself. Everything was wonderful. Today, everything is just the opposite.

I’m tired and listless. And just generally don’t want to do anything. I have to make myself eat because I have to eat to take my medication. Eating because you have to becomes a drain and a chore. Doubly depressing when you really genuinely like to cook.

I finally decided to read. I should say, I’m making myself read. It’s bad when I don’t want anything to do with books. They are usually my saving grace. My escape from the real world. Giving me adventures to places I want to go or that never even existed or that time has forgotten.

I think that is the worst part of being bipolar. The extreme ups and the even more extreme downs. And the fact they can take days to change from one to another or wiggle your nose and poof, you’re feelings went 180 degrees.

I’m learning that I do have coping skills. I just need to open my imaginary toolbox and pull one out. Just wish I could remember the combination to the lock sooner. Maybe that’s what my dream last night was trying to say. I have the solution inside of me. I just need to find it.

  • I’m grateful today that I bought mac and cheese Thursday while out on my adventures. Makes a quick and easy dinner. I’m grateful that my Kindle is full of tempting morsels just waiting to be savored. I’m grateful to be inside on this dreary day where the outside mirrors how I feel inside.

Night all. LOVES

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