26 Feb

I’m sitting on my youngest grandson tonight while his parents are off on an adventure. Babysitting for those of you who are all aghast at actually sitting on a baby. Sheesh!

While rocking him to sleep, I was just looking at him and I noticed he has almost the same color eyes as his Aunt Amanda. He’ll never get to meet her on this side, but I firmly believe she hugged him on the other side as he came through.

I worry some times that maybe I should stop mentioning her to this new generation that has no idea who she is. As well as all the other family members who have already gone ahead. How do you explain it to little ones? I don’t even have a picture to share. I know sometimes my boys must be looking at me weird because I’m always bringing her up. Jeffrey was only 4 when she died, and Joshua and Carson came after she was gone.

That’s one of the things I always have the hardest time with. How to merge the before with the after. It doesn’t really matter what stage you are trying to merge either. Before and after high school. Marriage. Birth and death of loved ones. My cleandate. There are so many stages of life that are to be lived.

If you listen to others, most people talk about what has happened and what is going to happen. Not very many can just stay in the now. I know I have a hard time doing it. But I always try. As I sit here and watching this beautiful boy sleep, I’m very happy to be in the now.

  • I’m grateful that I’m here for my children and grandchildren. I’m grateful to go to a friend’s party for her son’s birthday. I’m grateful that the tears I’m crying are bittersweet. It means I’ve been through another transition.

Night all. LOVES


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: