Too old

20 Feb

One if the most difficult parts of raising my special needs son is to find that balance between where he should be and where he is.

He IS 15. He’s 6 feet tall and 150 pounds. He’s getting facial hair. His voice is starting to crack and change. He’s becoming a young man. He is also still sleeping with stuffies. He wants to cuddle with mom and wants me to sing lullabies. Some times I wonder if I’m going to be living with a 4 year old 20 year old some day in the future?

This morning I woke up with him cuddled up against my back sound asleep. I heard him come in, but didn’t wake up enough to tell him to get out. And I question why I should? There was nothing wrong going on. I know the time is coming soon where he won’t want to cuddle and be sung to anymore. He’s already to that point where he barely acknowledges me in public, let alone give me hugs and kisses goodbye. My child IS growing up. And I am happy but still a little sad.

  • I’m grateful that my youngest still wanted his mommy today. I’m grateful that I was too tired to protest when he wanted love. I’m grateful to still see glimpses of my baby peaking through my young man’s eyes.

Night all. LOVES

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