Up the down escalator

13 Feb

Have you ever been so worn out and torn down that you accept it as normal? That’s how it’s felt lately. I just want to quit fighting up those steps for a bit. But I know life isn’t steps. It’s an escalator. I’m going up a down escalator and as soon as I stop moving, it’s going to take me back down to the bottom. I feel so tired. I wish I had enough courage to climb over the wall so I can just sit on a bench and rest for a while. I know I have to get back or sometime, but I just want a little rest. I am at a loss on how to go forward, but I don’t want to go back. I’ve worked way to hard to get this far. I just want to find the landing between floors.

This really sucks because I don’t know how to say what I need to say. I can’t find the right words. It’s so annoying to know that I’m faltering and I can’t seem to stop it.

I know if I just keep putting one foot in front of the other that sooner or later I’ll get somewhere. And if I keep ahold of the handrail, I’ll be where I should be. That’s all I can do today.

  • I’m grateful for chicken soup. I’m grateful tomorrow is Monday. I really should find some Garfield to read. I’m grateful for Pandora to keep at least part of my mind occupied.

Night all. LOVES

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