Letting you in

7 Feb

My son is getting  a new mentor today. She is going to be helping him become more self-sufficient so that one day he might be able to live on his own. My goal is that for now, he can learn to stay home alone safely. I can’t work if I can’t trust him to be home alone. And finding child care for a 15 year old is almost impossible.

I know that by starting this blog, I’m letting people into my life, but letting someone new into my space is so totally different. I have a really hard time with letting people in. I don’t trust too much. Learning to trust is difficult. Especially when it hasn’t worked well in the past.

But the same way my son needs to learn to be confident in his abilities so do I. I need to learn that I can make good choices for myself and my son. And I need to be willing to let others help. I also need to learn to let him fail. I can’t always be there to pick up his pieces for him. I’m certain that there are many things he could do by himself if I would let him try. I have the hardest time telling him, “No, I won’t do that for you because I think you can do it yourself.”

So I get to learn to let another human into my space. My comfort zone. Because although this is OUR home, it’s mostly MY safe place. I can control who is in and who is out. I have a hard time going to my friend’s houses because it’s THEIR space. They get to be the boss. I also get to learn to let others see my space how it is on a daily basis. Because this person is going to be coming all the time, I won’t always be up to being ON. I can’t sit around ‘ready for company’ all the time. It’s too exhausting and stressful. It’s always difficult to be willing to let others see how you really are. And hope they aren’t judgmental. It comes back to that trust thing. Wish me luck.

  • I’m grateful for the opportunity to let someone else come into our home to hopefully make our lives better. I’m grateful my space is mostly ‘company ready’. I’m grateful I’ve reached a place where I’m willing to trust.

Night all. LOVES


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