I’m a hoarder

27 Jan

I had a housing inspection today. I also have borderline hoarding disorder. Let’s just say that those 2 things will never be best of friends. It wasn’t as bad as its ever been, but it could have been better.

I always have great ideas on how to control my hoarding tendencies. I did a 91 day decluttering challenge. I think I made it to day 53 before just thinking about the next day made me cry for hours. I’ve tried the bring one in, take one out philosophy. That doesn’t work well when it comes to multiple items. Does a set of towels cut as 1 or 12? Maybe I should move into a tiny house so I have less space to fill up? Because they say you will fill a space whether it’s a studio or a mansion. Sometimes I wish I could come home and the house would be completely empty! Just bare walls. Because THEN maybe I could get a grip and not collect junk next time.

I don’t like this part of myself and I AM trying to change it. I go at it just like my other addictions. One day at a time. And I try to do the steps around hoarding. Maybe I should find a hoarders anonymous? It’s really hard to throw things away and get rid of things. “I might need it someday” or “somebody could really use this” or “this is really cool, but I’ll never use it!  BUT IT’S REALLY COOL!”

The really sad part is I’ve passed it on to my children. My youngest has problems throwing even garbage away. It’s stressful! Why does throwing stuff away make your head hurt? I get shortness of breath, and my heart pounds. It’s almost like being locked in a theater that shows nothing but horror movies 24/7. I suppose the best I can do is what I can do today.

  • Today I’m grateful they didn’t immediately slap a condemned sticker in my door when they were here. I’m grateful I’m learning to get by with less. I’m grateful to be willing to work on my issues to be a better me.

Night all. LOVES

 

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