Spirals

24 Jan

I’m not doing well today. Sometimes having bipolar disorder can be aggravating. It makes life into spirals. Sometime it spirals down and sometimes it spirals up. I feel like one of those wind chimes that spin around like a top.

I can’t name anything specific that is causing all these feelings and thoughts to be all jumbled up together in my brain. I can’t think straight. My thoughts are scattered and it’s really hard to focus on one particular thing. It reminds me of a dog park when the squirrels are out!

Maybe it’s the time of year. Mid winter is when it’s just cold and dreary. The holidays and all that stress is over. Valentine’s, St Patrick’s day and Easter are still weeks away.

I just know that my house mirrors how my mind is inside and right now it’s trashed. I haven’t done dishes in days. I haven’t put the Christmas stuff away. It’s in a giant tote in the middle of the living room. I have paths through the house because I have clutter and nonsense everywhere.

I have a housing inspection this week and I’m so not ready. I shouldn’t be surprised because I had one last year at this time. I suppose I should just start by stacking up the dishes. Everything starts with that first step.

  • I’m grateful for the inspection because it forces me to accomplish something. I’m grateful to get to the crazy doctor today. I’m grateful for Pandora. At least my spiraling has good much accompanying it.

Night all. LOVES

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