Happy Birthday Mom

3 Jan

Today is my mom’s birthday. Her name is Carroll Kay. She would have been 74. I miss her so very much.

We didn’t always get along. What mother and daughter ever ALWAYS get along? But we loved each other. She was always in my corner even if she thought I didn’t need to be there.

There was the time I moved out to live with the paperboy when I was 18. She said it was a mistake and that I would regret it and I shouldn’t live with him, but she didn’t mind our friendship. She just didn’t think I should be so quick to settle. She wanted me to explore life a little. She helped me get my passport and plan my trip to Germany.

One the worst day of my life, she drove all night to get to Oregon. She did a ten hour trip in 8 so I wouldn’t have to be alone the night my baby died. She took care of all the arrangements, she made sure we all had appropriate clothes for the funeral. She told the FBI agents that they had shitty timing for wanting to investigate a fraud charge(we didn’t do it) the day we buried my daughter.

She didn’t like my drug use and would always beg me to get clean and when I went to treatment, she would sent me money and care packages. She was so proud of me the day I graduated.

She was kind and generous to everyone, but don’t ever get her angry! It was not a good day when she was angry.

I wish she could come back just for an hour for a hug and so I could tell her one more time how much I love her but I guess I will wait until we are together again.

  • I’m grateful today that I got clean and sober before my mom died. I’m grateful that she’s with my daughter so they can take care if each other for me. I’m grateful that I’m a lot like her in so many ways. I hear her sneak out of my mouth occasionally too!

Night all. LOVES


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