Service helps us

21 Dec

Today was our apartment complex’s community holiday party. A gazillion kids making Christmas ornaments, decorating cookies, mobbing Santa, free pizza, and generally lots of chaos.

I went down early to help decorate and I ended up being there all afternoon. I put together and decorated a tree. Helped hand out gifts. Strung up lights. And talked to people! Yes, the world is ending, but not necessarily tonight.

I don’t like crowds and chaos much. It really messes with my equilibrium and anxiety. I usually avoid social events like the plague. But someone once told me that to help others is to get out of myself. And as this anniversary gets closer, I really don’t need to be in my head. There have been endless thoughts all day and invading my dreams at night. I needed a break. And watching all those kids and their parents helped. For a couple of hours, I was thinking about other things and not the stuff I’ve been focused on this past week.

I even got a picture of my son with Santa. The last one was 6 years ago. It’s one of my favorites because he’s only there because I’m holding him there. This year he kneeling next to Santa as any cool 15-year-old should be. There’s even a hint of a smile. But we won’t tell him.

  • Today I’m grateful for a new Santa picture of Carson. He’s such a good-looking kid. I’m grateful to get outside of my comfort zone today and be at a party. I’m grateful to others for meeting me where I am and letting me be me.

Night all. LOVES

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