Perfectly not perfect

20 Dec

We’re getting ready for Christmas and all the stuff that goes with that to make it perfect. Who set the standard for what makes a perfect holiday anyway? 

Listening to some people today discussing what needed to be done to finish their projects reminded me of when I wanted that perfect holiday season. And how often it DIDN’T happen. I have had holidays that were great and nothing could have been done to make them any better. And I’ve had some that were almost just another day of the week.

But a “perfect” holiday? I don’t think such a thing exists. It’s been made up by books and magazines, movies and TV shows, and it’s all just make-up and make-believe. Have you ever watched a magazine set up a story? It takes months of planning by several people whose only purpose us to make that particular scene perfect.

I’ve talked to my sister, the actress, and she says that being in a movie is fun but you spend lots of time in the “hurry up and wait” mode. She always brings a book! It takes days to set up that perfect shot. And everyone always talks about how much time went into planning. That’s why it takes years to make a movie.

I’ve given up trying to be perfect because all that ever got me was perfectly miserable and most often high and sometimes drunk. I forget sometimes and try to go back to the ‘perfect’ mindset and something always knocks me upside the head to remind me.

I have a really hard time around the holidays because of things that happened in my past and to try to make everything perfect just causes more stress that I don’t need.

So this year we have a tree with lights and a few ornaments. It’s more than we had last year. We each have a present under the tree that has a lot of thought and planning behind it. We have a home, with heat and light. Food that we’ll actually eat. And we get to hang out with people we love. Sounds perfectly not perfect to me.

  • Today I’m grateful to change my expectations of perfect. I’m grateful to get to the store this afternoon. I’m grateful I didn’t have to put anything back. And still got change back.

Night all. LOVES

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