2 steps back

2 Dec

Sometimes life seems like for every 3 steps forward, you end up 2 steps back. Today was one of those days! Today should have really been a Murphy’s law Monday. If it could go wrong, it did. And I just wanted to find a pan of lasagna and tuck myself in for the duration.

As most of you know, today is the first. And the first is when people who get help from the government get their money. Since my son is on disability, we get a lump sum payment once a month on the first. At least until our incoming elected officials decide differently. Because MY midnight clock is situated further East, my clock starts at 10:00 pm here on the Pacific coast. To make a long story short, some time between 11:30 and midnight, someone in Pensacola Florida decided THEY needed my money. NO, I don’t know anyone in Florida except for some YouTube couple I watch every day. It’s almost like I KNOW THEM, but they have no clue who I am. Does that make me a YouTube stalker? So now I get to figure out how to pay bills.

Next, on the agenda, I went to the therapist this morning and pick up my monthly order from the pharmacy. My health insurance has lapsed. Thank goodness my prescriptions were filled yesterday when I still HAD insurance.

Too finish out my wonderful day, when I get home, there are men in my house and they’ve blocked off access to my upstairs. What’s the first thing YOU do when you get home? Well I only have one. AND IT’S UPSTAIRS! No, I wasn’t expecting them. If I was, I might have done the dishes and I most definitely would NOT have done unmentionable laundry this morning. I really want cute guys in recovery to know what my old saggy underwear look like! It was SO not date underwear.

But, through this entire, messed up day, getting phone calls all day telling me that the card on file with this and that bill was declined, I was able to keep my sense of humor. You have to find something to smile about, or why continue? For about an hour today, I thought about chucking it all and finding a dope man. Preferably a rough, scruffy looking one because those are the ones I’ve always seemed to drool over. Yes, I realize that’s a problem. But I didn’t. I’m still here. And even though I’m 2 steps back from where I was this morning, I’m still a step ahead of where I ended up yesterday.

  • Today I’m grateful to have inherited my grandmother’s biting wit. I’m grateful for friends who make me laugh at midnight. I’m grateful to remember my prayers and to ask for dignity, Grace, patience and perseverance to handle whatever He thinks I need to learn with this test. And to remember that He hasn’t brought me this far to drop me on my ass!

Night all. LOVES


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