Gratitude List

22 Nov

As I figure this blog thing out, one thing that will remain constant is my gratitude list. Sometimes it is the only thing that keeps me putting one step in front of the other. Whenever life is looking pretty terrible, earthquakes, riots, sickness, unmanageable life circumstances and just plain bad days, my gratitude list is always there to remind me that it’s not as bad as I thought.

I first started a gratitude list when I was only 2 days clean. It was my first homework assignment from my sponsor. My second was to call her every day. She told me there are a few rules for my list if I want it to be effective.

  • 1. Write 3 things every day.
  • 2. I can only use the same thing every 3 days.
  • 3. I can only use my children once a week because we’re ALWAYS grateful for our children.

So I’ve been doing my list since June 20, 2009. I’ve only faltered once. When I got out of inpatient treatment, I thought I had this recovery thing down pat and I didn’t need to do the simple stuff anymore. Didn’t need meetings, stepswork, or a gratitude list. I found out pretty quickly that if you aren’t doing the simple things, the bigger things can sneak up and grab you. I was feeling pretty miserable because everything was starting to crumble, but I hadn’t relapsed yet. Was getting close though. So I called my sponsor to whine to her that this recovery thing was hard and I wanted her to fix it. Because, as addicts, we NEVER think the issue is us or that WE are the ones that need the fixing. First thing she asked? Going to meetings? No, I’m so busy and I just don’t have time. So you’re too busy to go to meetings but not to busy to want to use? Fine, I’ll go back to meetings. So she asked, Are you doing your stepwork? No, I’m too busy. “Well?” She says. Fine, I’ll do some stepwork. “Good”, she says. “I want this done by the weekend. We’ll go over it then.” So then she asks about my gratitude list. I knew better than to tell her I was too busy, so I just told her that “Sure, I’m working on it. Sorta!” She says, “Tracy, I think you’re just saying it but not doing it.” So she challenged me to write it every night on Facebook so she could see I was doing it every day. Because she knew as well as I did, that I would probably just write a bunch of stuff down right before we met and just flash the pages at her.

So began my Gratitude List on Facebook. I’ve done it every day for over 6 years. But it’s difficult to go back through Facebook to see what I had written before and see what had helped and what hadn’t. So now I’m doing my list here. I need a more accessible place to write my thoughts and feelings down to see it again.

I know today is a bit wordy, but it’s MY blog. And although I’m choosing to share it with you, it’s ultimately for me. Maybe that’s what I should name this? So here goes.

  • Today I’m grateful the furnace guy came to see why it’s leaking through my ceiling. I’m grateful to have lunch with my 5 month old grandson(I held the bottle). I’m grateful to still be committed to doing this.

Night all. LOVES

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2 Responses to “Gratitude List”

  1. Michele November 22, 2016 at 3:10 am #

    You are amazing Tracy you’ve always been a huge inspiration to me so grateful your in my life

  2. Anny picken November 22, 2016 at 6:14 am #

    Reading this gave me the biggest smile! Remember it worked for you then it’ll work for you today, no matter how many years you get clean. I love you!

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